Things On My Mind

John 10:1-15                                    Rev. Todd B. Freeman

Bethany Presbyterian Church, Dallas                           July 11, 2004

I’ve had a lot of things on my mind lately – things concerning this congregation, like the focus of our ministry, my ministry, our finances, our relationships, and our future. In addition, there are things on my mind concerning our Presbyterian denomination, like how can we continue to live together as a church in the face of our differences, differences that seem to some as insurmountable.

Much like the political climate in our country these days, the religious climate is deeply polarized. The persons and congregations that find themselves on the polar extremes of the theological spectrum are often absorbed by their constant focus on that which divides us. This, however, can eventually lead, and indeed has led, to everything from open hostility to bitterness to spiritual, emotional, and even physical exhaustion.

After just spending a week in Richmond, Virginia, as a Commissioner to this year’s General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA), I have reached a greater sense of personal clarity on many of these things that have been on my mind.

Perhaps foremost on my mind is how we treat one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. This was on my mind to the point that I mustered up the courage to stand on the floor of the General Assembly and ask a question of the 3 candidates running for moderator. Since each of the candidates responded to each question asked, there was time for only ten questions. I was number eight. This was my question:

I am the pastor of a theologically progressive More Light Presbyterian congregation in Dallas. I am sick and tired of having my faithfulness as a Christian called into question, and considered a “second-class” Christian spiritually because of where I stand on the theological spectrum.

My question to each of the candidates is this: What assurances can you give us that you will be inclusive, representative, and perhaps most importantly respectful of all in our theologically diverse denomination – and specifically, what will you do to stem the divisiveness in our denomination, especially the demonizing of our opponents?

In the latest edition of the More Light Presbyterian Update (Spring 2004), its new editor, Presbyterian author and champion of GLBT causes, Chris Glaser, (who also preached on the last morning of the Assembly) wrote about his perspective toward the divisiveness in our denomination. But instead of just criticizing the conservatives he holds up a mirror to progressives as well. He writes:

Sometimes, in our impatience, our God of Justice takes on the same angry edge as the wrathful God of Judgment that many of us grew up with. Joseph Campbell said the great mistake of the church in the 20th century was reducing Christianity to morality. Those of us who consider ourselves liberals or progressives can make a similar error of reducing Christianity to justice.

I realize, ‘them’s fightin’ words.’ Justice-deprived people may not have the luxury of such a conversation. We’re busy holding Presbyterian feet to the fire. Justice delayed is justice denied. Peace without justice is violence. Like the woman seeking justice from the unjust judge, a parable Jesus told his disciples to keep them from losing heart, we go to every General Assembly demanding our due. And this is as it should be.

In doing so, we remind our opposition of God’s mercy, facing down their demanding God of personal righteousness, a righteousness narrowly defined. But God’s mercy and justice are also fellow travelers. Enduring the gravest personal as well as political injustice, Jesus prayed for God’s forgiveness of his opponents, even though they did not know their sin. This suggests that we, at the least, might muster the ability to take a breath and treat our opponents as well as our “strategically-challenged” fellow advocates with the same mercy by which we too are saved.

Katherine Poethig [the mother of a lesbian daughter] once gave a remarkable show of such loving restraint as we spoke with several evangelical Presbyterian women. I was ready to be angry, wanting to either raise my voice, question their faith, or walk away. Katherine kept looking them straight in the eye with a twinkle and a smile and responded to all their concerns with such grace I realized that, even if they did not come to believe, Katherine had won.

I heartily agree with everything Chris has written. I wish, however, he hadn’t ended his article with the comment about Katherine winning. Is there no way out of our society’s, and our church’s, obsession with winners and losers?

It is my opinion that we are being swallowed up and consumed with our “us vs. them” mentality, our either/or “my way vs. your way” of being the church.

Can no one figure out how to have a win/win, both/and way of being the church?

I find it quite a sad state of affairs that in our day and time Jesus’ command for us to “love your enemy” basically refers to other Christians on the opposite end of the theological (and political) spectrum. To a great extent our relationships are defined by our differences, not the fact that we are all children of God and sisters and brothers in Christ. We have gone astray.

As I mentioned in my article in this month’s church Newsletter, my experience at the General Assembly, while exhilarating and affirming in many respects, also led to my greater disillusionment toward our constant “my side vs. your side” way of being the church. Watching, and even participating in, the behind the scenes politics and maneuvering at the General Assembly (which at one level I thrived on) ultimately left a bad taste in my mouth.

So I’ve come to an obvious conclusion: being the church, and a disciple of Jesus Christ, is more than just about “our side” winning! For this latter approach, which is frocked with negative feelings and attitudes toward our perceived opponents, eventually drains one’s soul. For quite some time now, it has been draining mine.

And I was being honest when I wrote in that Newsletter article that I shared with numerous people at the Assembly, “I really just want to be a pastor of a local congregation, without the constant politics and negativity.” That doesn’t mean my personal beliefs toward inclusion and justice have diminished, because it hasn’t. It’s just that I have stronger feelings now against the tactics and attitudes that have become the norm in both religious and political life in this country.

So upon my return from the General Assembly last week, in an effort to uplift my soul, restore a sense of compassion for all people, and to reinvigorate my “pastor’s heart,” especially toward those I disagree with most, I have declared for myself a season of sabbatical.

While I am deeply thankful that there are those who work full-time for the full inclusion of all persons in our denomination, and for a progressive understanding of biblical interpretation, I need a break and some distance. Perhaps it’s time for me to be a little less prophetic, and a little more pastoral.

Perhaps you are at a place in your life when you need a bit of a break from the in-fighting and negativity that bombards your life. Perhaps you, too, need to declare a sabbatical.

In this regard, the one event at the General Assembly that ultimately had the greatest impact on me was a four-hour presentation the day before the Assembly actually began. In 2001, our denomination established a Theological Talk Force on the Peace, Unity, and Purity of the Church – a group consisting of 20 very theologically diverse Presbyterians. They met for the first time in December of 2001 and will bring a final report to the next General Assembly in 2006, which will meet in Birmingham, Alabama.

Over 400 people gathered to hear the Task Force’s report on the progress they have made to this mid-point in their work. The scope of their work was put into perspective when one of their members asked us, “Do you enjoy the hostility in the Presbyterian Church (USA)?” This question was immediately followed with, “Are you willing to seek a better way?” My answer to that is YES!

The Task Force has been charged with helping our denomination come to grips with four specific difficult issues: Christology, biblical authority and interpretation, ordination standards, and the issue of power. They assured us that they are not looking for premature compromises.  Their task is to seek spiritual discernment of our Christian identity in and for the 21st century and help the church find ways to continue to live together in the face of our differences.

The process and path that the Task Force has intentionally taken has already proven to be very fruitful. When they began meeting 2 1/2 years ago they agreed to not start with debating the issues. In fact they will only begin addressing the issues this fall. Instead, they have spent the time up to now with discerning the nature and mission of God. The Task Force has come to realize that the process of learning how to be in genuine and trusting relationship with one another will be one of the most important aspects of their final product. In other words, “The journey is more important then the destination.” This will mean that we, as a denomination, need to learn how to work together differently.

At one point we were asked to discuss the following question with those gathered around our table, “How would the life of the PCUSA change if we see the peace, unity, and purity of the church as a gift made available in Christ, rather than something we create ourselves?” The table I sat at suggested the following,

• we would be less hostile toward on another,
• there would be more respect,
• we could acknowledge the mystery in the Divine, learn to embrace ambiguity, and be less absolute and dogmatic about our own personal beliefs,
• our committees would turn into communities,
• we would see each other as sisters and brothers in Christ,
• personal relationship building would become more important than simply doing the business of the church.

The Task Force also asked us to discuss around our tables the following 3 questions:

1. How can we continue to live together as a church in the face of our differences?
2. How do you see God already at work in your setting to help the church live together in the midst of differences?
3. What are the ways you can further the peace, unity, and purity of the church?

This is what I am not going to try to focus on in my own life and ministry. Whether in Church School, Session meetings, or special gatherings here at the church, I hope that we can grapple with these questions as a congregation in the near future.

Much to our surprise, the 400 of us who attended this pre-assembly gathering came away with a very positive outlook, and perhaps most importantly, hope – hope for our denomination and our congregations. We experienced one of the greatest gifts God has to offer, a genuine connectedness and sense of true community.

That same challenge faces us as this family of faith. While this congregation is filled with close and meaningful relationships, there is still more that we can do to develop an even greater sense of connectedness and community – a community with a positive outlook and a deep sense of hope.

I’m not quite sure where my self-imposed sabbatical from polarizing church politics will lead, how long it will last, or even if it will succeed. But with God’s help, and yours, I hope it will guide me to be the pastor God is calling me to be, and guide this congregation to where God is calling us.

Well, these are just a few of the things that have been on my mind lately. Now, what’s on your mind? I’d truly like to know. I truly need to know. We truly need to know.

Amen.