The Humble Dinner Guest

and the Inclusive Host

Luke 14: 1, 7-14   Proverbs 25:6-7                                    Rev. Todd B. Freeman

Bethany Presbyterian Church, Dallas                                                      August 29, 2004

When I was growing up we always ate dinner together as a family. Everyone had his or her own particular place around the table – kind of like assigned seating. Even when someone was gone (which was rare), their place was still held in their absence. It was “their seat”. Mom and Dad sat at the ends of the table, of course. And every few years or so, and I don’t remember exactly how this came about, the four of us kids would mutually agree to rearrange the order of where we sat.

There was, in retrospect, a certain pecking order around the table. There was one in the family room as well. No one sat in Dad’s recliner but Dad, and when he wasn’t around we fought over whose turn it was to sit there. When we heard him come in the house after work, we got out of it in case he wanted to sit down right away. The same arrangement was true about who got to ride in the front seat of the car. Thank goodness the pecking order was overridden by fairness, otherwise my older brother would have always won out.

What’s been fascinating as adults is that we’ve basically thrown out that pecking order when we gather as a family. As we get together for celebrations, like we will this afternoon on the occasion of my niece’s and my upcoming birthdays, the seating is rather chaotic, even random. That has a lot to do with not trying to figure out where 14 or so people are going to sit. One of the rewarding parts of being an uncle, is that there’s usually a fuss from my nieces and nephews about getting to sit next to Uncle Todd.

Being in the proper place seemed very important when we were growing up, but it seems less important as we matured. Now we are much more content to simply be who we are. This is not the case in all families however.

Do you recall any of this pecking order stuff in your family when you were growing up? Where were you in that order? What about at work, or school, or the other organizations of which you are a member? Is there a pecking order here at the church?

Do you know why they even call it “pecking order”? I remember the first time I was told that it had something to do with chickens. So to learn more I got on the Internet the other day and did a Google search on: chicken pecking order. The results: 12,400 websites. One site gave a very succinct synopsis, moving from the farming reality of a chicken coop to its application concerning human behavior.

Farm kids know that chickens in the barnyard have a pecking order wherein one chicken pecks another but is not pecked back, in a descending order from the chicken pecked by none, down to the chicken pecked by all other chickens. This fits a hierarchical model known to humans since tribal days. It has been the principal model in the business world and in the military. Business types sometimes even say, "He [or she] is next in the pecking order".

It seems that in our culture today a lot of people have their eyes on the top rung of the ladder, to be the chicken who rules the roost. And it's amazing the lengths to which some will go to establish their superiority. And, like chickens, they often draw blood in their quest for the top. There's nothing wrong with occupying the top rung, but there are right and wrong ways of getting there.

Today’s Gospel Lesson from Luke 14 gives Jesus’ perspective on this phenomenon we know as “climbing the social ladder.” According to verse 1, Jesus is at a dinner party in the home of a Pharisee and, while there, observes the social behavior of both guests and host.

Upon observing the guests scramble to places of honor closest to the host, Jesus advises choosing the lowest place, far removed from the head table. In doing so, one avoids public embarrassment and may, on occasion, be called up to a higher place of honor. In and of itself, this is of no religious significance but rather is sound practical advice on social behavior.

However, Luke says Jesus spoke it as a parable, meaning that Jesus is not simply discussing proper social etiquette. That Jesus has in mind proper behavior in the kingdom of God is made explicit in the closing statement, “For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” This pronouncement and theme of polar reversals occurs frequently in the Gospels, especially in Luke.

The biblical principle and warning that applies to each of us is this: When we try to manipulate, intimidate and compromise our way to the top, we are simply setting ourselves up for a great fall. Rank and position, ultimately, don't weigh very heavily in God's eyes. People are of equal value, no matter their position in society, or their status financially.

Here’s another warning. The human ego is quite clever and, upon hearing that taking a low seat may not only avoid embarrassment but lead to elevation to the head table, may turn Jesus’ instruction about humility into a new strategy for self-exaltation. Taking the low seat because one is humble is one thing; taking the low seat as a way to move up is another.

One commentator writes, “The entire message becomes a cartoon if there is a mad, competitive rush for the lowest place, with ears cocked toward the host, waiting for the call to ascend.” Another writes, “Modesty can be exaggerated, and humility can be a form of pride.”

After these observations concerning being a dinner guest, Jesus turns to give a lesson about being a dinner host. Being a host carries with it many pleasant and positive connotations, such as friendliness, generosity, graciousness, and concern for the comfort of others. However, Jesus observed an occasion, and certainly not an isolated one, on which hosting was an act by which one person gained power over others and put them in his debt. It’s the old “gift with strings attached” technique. It’s the worst kind of hospitality, for it’s motivation takes on a self-serving purpose.

Again, Jesus is not giving lessons on social graces. The point is, hosting can be a way of making others feel they are in your debt, so they in turn will reciprocate when preparing their guest lists. A host who expects a return on his or her behavior will not offer service or food to those who cannot repay, and so guest lists consist of persons who are able to return the favor.

Verses 12-14 state, “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Jesus, therefore, is calling for behavior that lives out this conviction about the kingdom of God; that is, inviting to the table those who have neither property nor place in society. These folks may not be able to do much to help us reach our church budget needs, but they are to be intentionally invited, nonetheless.

There are, of course, overtones to the Lord’s Supper in all of this. That is why in the Invitation to the Table I often state that it is not I, as pastor, who is the host, but Christ. It is Christ who invites all to come and taste and see the goodness of God.

By its very nature, the church is constitutionally committed to the care of the poor and the disabled. In this particular Scripture passage, however, Jesus is not calling on Christians to provide for the needs of the poor and the disabled; he says to invite them to dinner. This is the New Testament’s understanding of hospitality.

The word translated “hospitality” means, literally, “love of a stranger.” True hospitality, then, is not just having each other over on Friday evening, but welcoming those who are in no position to host us in return.

Nor does the text speak of sending food to anyone; rather, the host and the guest sit at table together. The clear sign of acceptance, of recognizing others as one’s equals, of cementing fellowship, is breaking bread together. Our monthly Potluck Luncheons are so much more that just a meal, as are the times when a group of us go out to lunch after the service of worship. And yes, everyone, especially visitors, are invited.

In the Christian community no one is simply to be considered a “social action project.” All people are beloved children of God and part of the family.

Biblical commentator William Loader warns against helping the poor and needy so that we can build up capital for our own future – the old “stars in our crown” syndrome. He calls this a disastrous development and writes, “Where it is applied, the needy are used and abused. It is spiritual capitalism at its worst.” We must be careful, then, so that our acts of love and compassion and hospitality aren’t motivated by our own self-interest.

So I leave you this morning with this question: How can you, how can we use our power and position in life with humility in ways that lift up the lowly and invite the poor and outcast to the feast – especially those we think could never repay us?

And in the process of being humble guests and inclusive hosts, let us try hard to leave the pecking order to the chickens.

Amen.