I’m Sorry I Said That

“...but no one can tame the tongue - a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” James 3:8

James 3:1-1 2         Proverbs 10:19; 11:13      Matthew 12:33-37

Bethany Presbyterian Church, Dallas       September 14, 2003     Rev. Todd B. Freeman

When my brothers and sister and I were at our parent’s home in Arizona in February, helping them to get ready for their move here to Dallas, we came across something that had sat on one shelf or another in every house we ever lived in. They were three wooden carvings of monkeys. You’ve probably seen something like this. One has its hands over its eyes, another over its ears, and the third over its mouth. See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.

In light of today’s sermon text from the third chapter of James, it reminded me that as you and I go about our daily lives it is impossible to block out all that we see or all that we hear. The one we have the most control over, however, is all that we say - the “speak no evil” part.

Imagine what kind of place the world would be if even for 24 hours everyone would speak no evil. Imagine what a difference it would make at your work, in your home, even here at church. I’m not exactly sure what heaven is, but I’m certain it’s a place where “speak no evil” is always a reality.

Each and every one of us is personally aware that the old childhood saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is false. Words can and often do inflict great harm. You may have vivid memories of the times when you have been on the receiving end of harmful words. Less likely, we remember the times when we were the ones inflicting the damaging words. And too often we are unaware that what we have said has caused another pain.

The Scriptures are filled with words of warning about the damage done by the tongue. The author of the New Testament book of James has much wisdom to shed on this subject. James concedes, “All of us make many mistakes” (v. 2). The perfect speaker is not to be found. But it is not perfect grammar James is worried about, it’s something much worse.

James knows that small things can have a big impact. Size is not always the main measure of power. Using vivid imagery, James says that the tongue is like a ship’s rudder or a horse’s bridle - tiny by comparison with a ship or a horse, but yielding great control.

Turning a rudder just slightly at the beginning of a voyage from New York Harbor, for example, is the difference between docking in England or in Spain. And anyone who has ever ridden a horse (as I used to a lot when I was a teenager in South Dakota and we owned a horse named Cinnamon) knows that having a small metal bit in its mouth is the only way to control where you want to go.

That is the power of the tongue - small, often hidden from view, but like a controlling rudder or bridling bit.

James also knows about fires. Huge and destructive fires often begin with a small match, a carelessly tossed cigarette, or a single lightning strike. The result may be devastation to tens or even hundreds of thousands of acres of land, as well as the homes and wildlife in its path.

One biblical commentator writes, “So it is with the tongue. Its words are like sparks of flint, setting fire to woods that have been carefully nurtured for years.” Relationships that have been carefully and slowly built over time can be severely damaged, perhaps even destroyed, by the wrong words said in the wrong way.

Sometimes our words come out unintentionally, other times purposely malicious. Perhaps these intentionally harmful words are what James has in mind when he speaks of the tongue as “a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (v.8). In today’s modern world, those kinds of words are often not only spoken but also written, especially in emails.

In a reference to creation itself, James states that human beings have demonstrated their ability to master nature, in part, by taming animals. He goes on to declare, however, that the one thing that cannot be tamed is the human tongue, along with its damaging effects.

Like much else in the book of James, parallels to this passage can be found in Jewish wisdom literature. The wisdom found in the Old Testament book of Proverbs is a good example. We heard several verses a few moments ago, like in Chapter 16, “Scoundrels concoct evil, and their speech is like a scorching fire. A perverse person spreads strife, and a whisperer [gossip] separates close friends” (vs. 27-28).

A particularly harmful use of words is indeed gossip. And the Bible has lots to say about that, like Proverbs 20:19, “A gossip reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a babbler.”

Around 200 years before the birth of Jesus a Jewish teacher in Jerusalem, named Ben Sira, wrote a book of wisdom literature that we call Sirach, or Ecclesiasticus (not to be confused with the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes.) It is part of the Apocryphal biblical literature that’s included in the Catholic Bible. Listen to these sayings about the misuse of words written over 2200 years ago.

• The blow of a whip raises a welt, but a blow of the tongue crushes the bones.

• Many have fallen by the edge of a sword, but not as many as have fallen because of the tongue.

• As you fence in your property with thorns, so make a door and a bolt for your mouth.

These last words echo the psalmist’s prayer in Psalm 141:3, “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” What a great visual image, and what a great prayer! Let me share with you some additional proverbs from around the world that I found in a book that I have entitled, The Encyclopedia of World Proverbs:

If the mouth is fastened shut, no quarrel arises.                              Japanese

It is the mouth that cuts the throat.                                                African (Hausa)

A wicked tongue is worse than an evil hand.                              Yiddish

Below the tongue, there is an ax hidden.                                       Korean

Even four horses cannot pull back what the tongue has let go.           Slovakian

The tongue is like a sharp knife; it kills without drawing blood.    Chinese

Jesus also had strong words to say about the words we speak. In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus tells the Pharisees that “on the day of judgment you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter; for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” No matter how you think this verse should be interpreted, it should at least cause us to think twice before we speak.

Another point that James makes is how inconsistent we are in our speech. He believes that people speak with a forked tongue, speaking out of both sides of their mouth. He states in verse 9, “With the tongue we bless God, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God.” The very same gift of speech that enables humans beings to praise God also enables us to curse our fellow human beings, who like ourselves, are made in God’s image. Such a contradiction ought not occur, but it does nevertheless.

James’ overall concern is that you and I, as Christians, must learn to control our tongue, even though it can’t be completely tamed. I’ve learned recently that dealing constructively with anger, especially internalized anger, can be very helpful in this regard.

James challenges the casual attitude that many people take toward speech. He wants to clear up any misconception that we might have that our words don’t really matter – because they do! Unfortunately, however, James himself makes no suggestions for a solution to the problem of taming the tongue.

So perhaps that’s how we should leave it this morning. No fifteen-minute sermon will solve this problem. Perhaps we should simply let the wisdom we have heard from the Scriptures stand on its own terms. Perhaps it’s enough to allow ourselves to hear and acknowledge the severity of the problem.

In being honest with myself, I certainly recognize that this text has something important and necessary to speak to me – and I think to each one of us.

Remembering that wisdom itself is a gift from God, perhaps our hope is that any success we have in disciplining our tongues is also gift from God (in addition to a lot of intentional diligence on our part).

So, just for fun this week see if you can go for 24 hours and “Speak no evil.” And remembering the words from Ephesians 4:29, which was the sermon text about a month ago, “Do not let any harmful words come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.”

I want to leave you with the following visual image to help put this issue into perspective. A Jewish folktale, set in nineteenth-century Eastern Europe, tells of a man who went through a small community slandering the rabbi. One day, feeling suddenly and deeply remorseful, he begged the rabbi for forgiveness and offered to undergo any form of penance to make amends. The rabbi told him to take a feather pillow from his home, cut it open, and scatter the feathers to the wind. The man did as he was told and returned to the rabbi.

         He asked, “Am I now forgiven?”

         “Almost,” came the response. “You just have to perform one last task: Go and gather all the feathers.”

         “But that’s impossible,” the man protested, “for the wind has already scattered them.”

         “Precisely,” the rabbi answered.

And so it is with the words we speak. Once spoken, they cannot be retrieved. Yet when we do misspeak, reconciliation must always be our goal.

Amen.