Surviving the Holiday Season

Four Practical Tips on the First Sunday of Advent

Luke 21:25-36 1 Thessalonians 3:9-13 Jeremiah 33:14-16 Rev. Todd B. Freeman

Bethany Presbyterian Church, Dallas November 30, 2003

Today is the First Sunday of Advent, the church's month-long preparation for Christmas. To put it most simply, Advent is a time of active preparation and anticipation - a time for the church, and you and I, to reflect upon what Christmas really means. So during this month of December, I'd like for you to continue to ask yourself time and time again: what significance does the birth, life and ministry of Jesus of Nazareth have for me and my life?

I know that in this congregation there would be a variety of answers to that question. And that's okay. This question is important not only as a matter of faith, but to help divert our attention away from the hectic busyness of the weeks leading up to Christmas. For there will be the constant bombardment of decorating, parties, shopping, entertaining, religious observances, and family get-togethers. And just like last year, and the year before that, most of us will share a particularly common experience - "Holiday Stress."

Therefore, instead of delving into a deep theological discussion (which I love doing) of the meaning of Christmas, I thought I would share with you this morning, as I did last year, a few practical tips to help make The Holidays a bit more pleasant for all of us.

A year ago, the Texas Triangle magazine included an article written by David A. Jones, Ph.D., an Austin psychologist who specializes in working with individuals and couples. He lists four simple, but remarkably helpful suggestions that can help us prepare for Christmas. And though none of them specifically mention Jesus, they all reflect the presence of God, nevertheless. If followed, they can help us to remain focused on what we often mention as the purpose of Jesus' ministry: to live fully, love wastefully, and be who we are created to be. They are:

• Do less.

• Breathe more.

• Adjust your expectations.

• Focus on people, not stuff.

A few words, now, on each of these.

1. Do less

During the holidays, when it comes to time, money, and social and family commitments, most of us simply try to do too much. We over-do, over-buy, over-bake, over-eat, over-greet, and over-indulge ourselves into oblivion. We all seemingly forget how to say "no." Or as my parents have taught me, "No, thank you."

So, try something different this year. When deciding how to spend your limited time, choose quality over quantity. Discuss with your spouse, partner, family, or friends the activities you all most enjoy and focus on those. And give yourself permission to say, "thank you for thinking of us, but we just can't make it this time," to events that are over your limits.

2. Breathe more

For years now when I see someone getting really stressed out I have simply told them simply to breathe. Picking up on this, many of my friends, including several of you, have passed on that same bit of advice when they see me getting stressed.

You know what, it really works. Whenever we get stressed our breathing becomes more shallow and rapid, which in turn causes our heart-rate and blood pressure to increase. We feel panicky and are likely to lose our temper more quickly. We become aggressive drivers and race through shopping malls with a scowl on our face. And sadly, we render ourselves relatively incapable of experiencing pleasure.

So, when you find yourself getting stressed out this month, stop whatever you're doing and simply take several slow, deep breaths. Or when someone you're with exhibits these symptoms look them compassionately in the eye and simply say, "breathe."

3. Adjust your expectations

When it comes to imagining how we want our holidays to be, adults tend to do one of two things - we either over-idealize the holidays of our childhood, which are impossible to recreate, or we resolve to have the "perfect holiday" that we never experienced in childhood.

Either way, we set ourselves up for disappointment by setting unrealistic expectations of complete happiness and fulfillment. As we all know, however, real-life holidays just don't work like they did at the Little House on the Prairie.

So instead of expecting a "perfect holiday," try being open to a few wonderful moments , especially when you least expect them. And create some open space, some free time with those you love in which those moments can happen.

4. Focus on people, not on stuff

If we're not careful, it is very easy to buy into the consumeristic myth that gifts, wrapping paper, and more twinkling lights are what make the holidays special. In fact, retailers spend billions of dollars in holiday advertising each year to convince us of just that. But the reality is that it's who we're with during the holidays that make them so memorable.

Think back to the past Christmas or two. Can you really remember exactly what each and every person gave you as a gift? Or do you remember that time spent with those persons was special?

Does it really matter which sweater your spouse, or partner, or sister-in-law, or nephew buys you? Or is what really matters the fact that you have the unique privilege of spending this holiday season with someone you truly like and love?

So, this year, instead of looking at what you get for Christmas, or at what you didn't get, try looking at how blessed you are and be grateful. Put the emphasis and focus on your relationships!

As we prepare for Christmas this year, individually and as a congregation, let us try to: do less; breathe more; adjust our expectations; and focus on people, not stuff. If we can do that, we will be in a much better position to reflect upon that important question: what significance does the birth, life and ministry of Jesus of Nazareth have for you and your life?

Amen.